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But instead of wow, I got hmm… that was ok. 

The seating time was right around 35 minutes, which I suppose is acceptable for a busy restaurant in a popular shopping center. I was a little disappointed with the atmosphere of the restaurant, which I’ll admit wasn’t bad, but had the ambiance of an upscale cafeteria.  If they ever open a Luby’s in China, this is what it will look like.

Table service was very good, and the food was delivered pretty damn quickly (under 15 minutes). The dishes (wok seared lamb and sweet and sour pork) were well prepared, and served hot.  Overall, the meal was good.  Not great, but good.

And that’s the rub.  When it comes to food, there are only three things I’ll stand in line for: Bargain prices, buffets, & awesome food. Since P. F. Chang’s is neither a low-price fast food restaurant nor an all-you-can-eat establishment, I was really counting on some awesome food.

P. F. Chang’s isn’t bad, but it’s a little short on awesomeness.

RGV Clubs Rating: 6
(out of 10)

P. F. Chang’s
3100 E Expressway 83
Mcallen, TX 78501
(956) 664-1516

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The seating time was very reasonable, and the table service was good.  The food, however…sigh…

I went with the Grilled Burger Melt, and well, I’m really grasping for a more descriptive word, but mediocre isn’t harsh enough, and disaster is a bit much.  Let’s just say it resembled something I would throw together in the middle of the night.  Drunk.  And I don’t mean that in a good way.

One more thing.  The floor in the dining area will try to kill you.  It seems to be covered with a thin film of grease or cooking oil.  Maybe the janitor just used too much wax, but either way, you’ll want to wear non-slip industrial work shoes to avoid a potential trip to the hospital.  Sure, stiletto heels are sexy, but head injuries?  Not so much.  They might as well just replace it with ice and let the servers skate to your table.  It would be just as dangerous but far more awesome.

Overall, it wasn’t the worst dining experience I’ve suffered through.  I’ll probably give it another shot in the near future, but BJ’s has a lot of making up to do.

RGV Clubs Rating: 5
(out of 10)

BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse
3200 Expressway 83
McAllen , TX 78501
956.687.2005
956.683.9153 FAX
Palms Crossing Shopping Center

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Instead of taking pictures all night, I opted to use my precious time for drinking beer and smoking cigarettes simultaneously, without the constant pressure of moving and doing stuff that didn’t include beer and cigarettes. That was so much easier.

To be honest, I hadn’t been to the Cypress in years so I halfway expected to get stabbed in the parking lot or at least catch a bullet in the ass on my way out, so I was fucking stunned pleasantly surprised to see that the entire building got a ground up makeover and looks like an upscale lounge now. It was like seeing that old chick who sells newspapers by Target win the lottery and turn into Jessica Simpson.

I also got to meet Josh (Selarom) who is neither black, nor shaped like a square, so I’m more confused than ever by his profile pic.

Anyway, big ups to Drew who has been organizing kick-ass Christmas parties since Jesus was a baby. Good job capturing all three of my chins in that photo phucker. You will pay…

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I also think they should serve pie and donuts in nightclubs, so clearly I’m an idiot.

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Yeah, I know this is like a week late, but I’ve been out of town since last Monday, plus I’m lazy. Also, I’m beginning to hate people so my motivation to do anything productive is waning.

Call it disillusionment with humanity if you like, but it seems every time I leave the house, I come home wishing I’d strangled at least two or three of the people I’d met that day, with the expectation that it would actually make the world a better place.

Perhaps my expectations are unrealistic. Perhaps I’m setting the bar too high. Maybe I’m just a dick.

But it’s cool, because Saturday night was like a breath of fresh air. The beats were tight, the sound was good, and the people were as laid back as they were diverse. Yeah, that’s my kind of crowd.

While discussing the event with a friend, I believe the question I rhetorically asked was “why can’t the rest of the Valley be like this?”. No inflated egos. No misplaced pride. No wannabe celebrities. Just solid talent and a genuine love for the art.

Props to the Ill-Oddeo crew and everybody who put this thing together. The music scene needs more events like this.

!!!UPDATE!!!ARGGG!!!WTF!!!BBQ!!!

More pics here!

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Yeah…I usually take more pictures, but in all fairness, I usually drink a lot less too.

Shout outs to Drew (Energetik.org), Claudia (I want my cricket bat back), DJ Kyzer, DJ-OPTX, Courtney, DJ Radar, Diana (who’s afraid of pictures), and those two girls dancing together who may or may not have been strippers on their night off (I’m just saying).

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Jay Nicole throws down! Click for pics

Yup. New pics. In other news, hell froze over, pigs can fly, and Anna Nicole rose from the dead. Nancy Grace is still a bitch though.

Shout outs to J-Gruv’s Joey and Danielle, Eric @ Fuego, DJ OPTX, Courtney, and Jasmine (just for being sexy.

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Her brash style and funky music have earned her numerous comparisons to Pink, which I kinda understand except that she’s English and she wears girl clothes and I wouldn’t be afraid to put my penis in Lily Allen.

She’s also gotten a lot of attention as a result of her strong opinions and criticism of other celebs, but I wouldn’t know anything about that since I’ve been busy drawing little hearts and flowers around a stick figure with a picture of Lily’s head pasted to it. Its going to look great in the Lily Allen shrine I built in my bedroom closet.

Sure, call me crazy but that’s what the health department said about my slow roasted “kitty on a stick”, and I showed those bastards.

Anyway, here’s some live stuff from Stubbs, last Wednesday. Credit to bmkazar for the video.

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